Okays.. I'm goin into depression again. I was talking to my mei on the train today, went to watch Darkness Falls.. terrible show but she thinks its scarry enough. Man, she has no expierenced. Lol. Well back to the story... We were talking about my ex and i was sort of certain that i've gotten over her and she said my ex is probably not happy right now. I don really believe that.. Still remember the last sms i sent her after we broke. I said "May u find joy" N she replied "thanks i've already found joy". Wats that suppose to mean? Many ppl say she has gotten a new bf and i personally thing so myself. Anyways, I came back home and had dinner then me Mei called.. She's troubled and really pissed by her family.. I talked to her for a while then when we hung up, I suddenly thought of Karen. I took the ladder and digged out all her pass love letters to me. I read it a few times and i ask myself if watever she wrote in the letter was true then y did she broke up with me? I cried a little but then got over it. Was playing some love songs and i donno, i jus feel like hearing all the songs i used to play for her.. I hate to admit but I still miss her. I've gave her every single tear drop i had.. and every single amount of love.. guess thats y its so hard to get over her. Its been like 5 months already since we broke. I wan to get over her, i try to act strong in front of others but actually my heart has already been broken and broken so badly tat i think its never ever gona heal. Once in a while i still recall her. I try to sound like every other guy. When they talk about their ex, they sound as though its nothing like that. But guess its diff from me. She was very very dear to me. I love her so much. N i don think i can get over her unless somebody is here with me. Was watching Ch 8 jus now, this show called True Heroes. The mom in the show said "If u don lose the old one, how can a new one come in?" Its so untrue.. I've lost the old one.. where's the new one ? Y playboys can get so many Gf even though they are not serious in everyone of them. How come they can have girls who will come all the way from cck to tampines and the guy doesn do the same, but the girl still likes him.. Y ??

I'm bringing caryn to the place where i use to go when i'm depressed. hope it makes her feel better. Its a very nice place. Hope tmr's weather will co-operate for me.. Thanks nature, do me a favor.